WARNING: CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT & CEREAL & TWERKING & INFLATABLE DUCK & LITTLE ELSE...

 

Fed up with your office job? 

Don’t feel financially appreciated?

Why not take your kit off at every opportunity possible instead and become a stripper or do some glamour/soft porn modelling?

Can you gyrate?  If so, buy an inflatable duck and do a raunchy video and upload immediately onto social media.

Cannot gyrate?  Simply pop into your local supermarket and rub some cereal into your boobs by dipping in and rubbing handfuls into your Charlies (any cereal will do especially if it adds a snap, crackle and pop to the proceedings).(Note; remember to pay for cereal otherwise you can be detained as shoplifter!).

If you can twerk, mores the better for drawing attention to yourself so get in there with your bazookas covered in bran flakes by moving in a sexually provocative manner, throwing or thrusting your hips back and shaking your buttocks in a low squatting stance (something I personally do on my weekly shop to Waitrose!)  Remember to record  these fun times where you have demonstrated this act of indecent exposure in a public place so it can go viral later and millions of total strangers can witness your weird behaviour.

Good at taking selfies and demonstrate great entrepreneurial skills?  Why not sell nude photos of yourself to anyone willing to part with dosh and instantly become cash rich outside of the confines of a 9-5 job!  Absolutely no commuting as you can work from home!  

Who needs a job when you can just sell yourself instead!   Or ever thought of taking up a hobby?  Why not get kinky and become a fan of extreme fetish parties for a bit of kinky torture every now and then? Great to pop on your CV and show how open minded you really are!

Who knows you may even get noticed by someone other than a bunch of perverts!    If you fancy trying this then just contact Megan Barton Hanson, the 24 year old from Southend on Sea who describes herself as shy!

Single for a few years Megan admits she gets quite a lot of attention from guys but it always seems to be the wrong ones (very odd, I cant fathom out for a moment to why this may be happening!)  Unlucky in love she is looking for the one now on Love Island (where else would one look? – come on!).

This is the very same attention seeking individual that accused fellow Islander Georgia Steel of being 'attention-seeking (pot and kettle come to mind!)

Megan describes herself as different from the typical Essex girl, which is absolutely true as unlike Essex girls Megan chooses for the majority of her time not to wear anything.  No surprise she has modelled for publications like Sixty6 magazine and Maxim, and most likely is currently feeling overdressed as she tends to model topless or in nothing at all, just a pair of leopard print shoes (tasteful)

She revealed she has previously dated a footballer but wouldn’t divulge any further details (Chelsea keeper Thibaut Courtois after his clubmate Danny Drinkwater, 28, stood her up = and I am no Sherlock Holmes!)  Interesting for someone who is prepared to divulge everything else!

Megan said she has been contacted by celebrities over Twitter hoping to take her out on a date or is the truth from this very honest individual that it may have been her who chased a string of male stars including James Arthur and Calum Best in a bid for fame

Meanwhile, with her array of saucy pics and videos she’s built up quite a following on social media and is proving to be a big tit – meant hit with over 18k followers.

She says that she is very honest and that a lot of people in her age group play games or put across an impression of how they want to be seen, and then their true colours come out.  She also said that her mum says sometimes shes too honest!  According to Megan; she is also very loyal.

Ms BH also wanted us to know that her boobs often get complimented, which comes as no surprise as it’s a bit like anything that is put on show for a long period of time, something is bound to be said; example; if you leave a floater in the toilet long enough comments will be made!

Before entering the villa, she admitted that she already had her eye on a few of the men on the ITV show and even though she normally goes for older men (with a more disposable income) she instantly found both Eyal and Alex attractive opting for Eyal to couple up with being the spiritual individual she is into yoga.

Speaking in the Beach Hut Megan has indicated that its early days and she doesn’t want to put all her eggs in one basket and just write off everyone else.

A friend of Megans like friends do; revealed that she has always wanted to be famous and believed her love life would be her key so met a couple of PR agencies to find out how to get in the newspapers and from that came up with the idea of dating celebs and getting snapped with them.

So how will this young woman who very soon will nothing left to sell fair in this process?  What does she really want?  Surely it cannot just be all about the money?   Someone needs to sit her down and make her realise that it ain't about the uh cha-ching cha-ching and it ain't about the yeah b-bling b-bling – somewhere happiness lies and perhaps if she was really honest she would have a stern word with herself!