When you sit and work out how many odd socks have gone missing over the years the figures are quite disturbing. Collectively as a family to date, the calculation stands at 2,229.
This maybe a little generous and embarrassingly distorted given when my children were small, they were always peeling off their socks and throwing them off in complete abandonment. Subsequently socks went missing in action resulting in an inexplicable cluster
of odd socks in a variety of drawers remaining throughout the household.
There are many great mysteries in life that automatically both spring to mind and blow our minds, The
Bermuda Triangle, Stonehenge, Crop Circles, Spontaneous Human Combustion, and of course nothing more perplexing as the mystery of the missing socks!
It is quite amazing how
and with such regularity they just disappear and how much disruption a missing sock can cause wasting time looking for it?
Sometimes we do not even notice when a sock goes
astray especially if our sock supply is healthy. Therefore, a single missing sock is of no consequence and we are unlikely to notice. But most people do not have a never-ending sock reserve and a lot of our socks have true meaning even sentimental attachment,
they may have been gifts (who doesn’t love to give a pair of socks at birthdays, Christmas and other occasions?) or have been a desire purchase making every pair unique
what happens to all the socks that get lost? Is there a lost sock triangle where they simply disappear without trace?
Lets just take a moment to think about the hundreds of
thousands of sad and lonely odd socks who used to be half of a pair. What becomes of those left behind, all laundered alone, unworn, unloved and in mourning with only memories of happier times of keeping tootsies warm and absorbing sweat On that
note, did you know that the feet have about 250,000 sweat glands capable of producing about 1 cup of sweat a day? (perhaps let us not dwell on that too much!)
And once all
the options have been explored in every household across the land given at least one sock seems to disappear with every wash, generic behaviours emerge!
No responsibility is
ever taken resulting in a pile of lonely items that have lost their other half. It appears to always be someone else’s fault for this misplaced object.
When we do look
for our absent foot friend, regrettably we only seem to dedicate limited time in doing so choosing to search only in all the most obvious and easiest places to quickly assume the sock is lost forever. Whether this is due to our busy lives or maybe our blasé
cannot be bothered attitude our brains are programmed that if we can’t see any odd socks then we simply convince ourselves there are no odd socks and normal life resumes until you next open your sock drawer aghast at the sight of all those solitary socks
stranded patiently waiting to be reunited.
How many times are we guilty of leaving that lone sock on the bedroom floor or kicking it out of sight underneath
or behind various bits of furniture, just popping it in the laundry basket when no one is looking or throwing it into the washing machine in the absence of its partner?
are many bizarre theories put forward over time for these laundry losses; have they been eaten by the washing machine monster? Is there some kind of vortex created within the whirl of hot air and tumbling wet clothes that exists within the dryer? Or is there
a greater force? Abducted by aliens who have a sock fetish? Is there a sock fairy who is selling them on the sock black market who ransacks your drawers in the middle of the night or blatantly pulls them from your feet whilst you snore?
Is there a sock mountain as tall as Everest somewhere remote in the UK unknown to any GPS?
the reality it appears that Lost Sock Memorial Day is your opportunity to mourn your dearly departed foot warmers, wherever they may be. It is a perfect opportunity to spend some time in contemplation to the ultimate destination of the world’s missing
socks or perhaps just check behind the washing machine and tumble drier.
Rip down those missing posters placed all around the house keeping the appeal alive,
forget the false hopes that we may find those forlorn footwear in the hope they may return to their partner and once again be a fine pair, be prepared to do something about it and openly discuss your dirty (and clean) washing in public.
Stop holding on to them in case the missing sock miraculously finds its way back home or wearing them in the hope that 'opposites attract', delay the threesome with a pair of
similar hue in the hope no one notices your mismatched feet. And if you cannot beat them consider a pragmatic approach and make all your socks the same. Wear only white or black socks, so if you lose one, you still can have a matching pair in the drawer, even
if it is not its original twin.
You may not know this, but the colour of your socks can leave a lasting effect on everybody you meet. At work, in public,
in relationships. That crucial first impression left by an ill-advised sock decision could affect your everyday life. And let us not forget the colour of the sock will influence the way others relate to you.
Do not take chances with the wrong coloured socks as what the socks you wear say about you can be lifechanging!
Classic! An expression of clout, control, chicness with a touch of clandestine. A stylish and safe choice.
Tell- tale sign of gym bunnies, normally worn with trainers but for those uneducated or no longer down with the kids it can
often be seen on the older man modelled with open-toed sandals which is probably the most evil combo and without doubt no-no ever demonstrated!
Bad choice! This is neither black nor white and therefore pointless. If it is used to blend in with the colour of trousers instantly it reveals dullness. BORING......
Alternatively, it could be that this sock may have begun life as white and due to poor laundry skills has trans socked into a shade of grey (not any of the 50 shades
normally associated with excitement!).
the earth, the only people that choose to buy and wear brown socks are calm, consistent, and regrettably unexciting. Who chooses brown when there are approximately 10,000,000 colours in the world?
Blue portrays achievement and confidence. A blue sock wearer can be trusted!
No surprise caution is required! The red sock wearer has a temper and is emotionally intense and likes to be confrontational. Avoid at
all costs if you want a peaceful life!
Worn by people who wanted
to be seen; attention-seekers who have extremely poor fashion sense but like to be noticed – regrettably for the wrong reasons!
This is a sign that they are bereft, and their world has been ripped apart, they are either suffering from or have suffered in the past from missing sock syndrome. The only cure is to
utilise Lost Sock Memorial Day to throw away the lot and start all over again.
Alternatively, they may have got dressed in the dark!
Uniting long lost pairs would be the ultimate celebration of this day but if that fails, then perhaps it’s about time you found something else to do with the odd ones (see below) and we can to rid the world
of odd socks and make the world a better place!
Did You Know….?
55% of missing socks are coloured and black socks are the most likely candidates to go missing
men are the most likely victims of sock disappearances
Men aged 14 to 25 are at a higher risk of missing socks syndrome and 82 per cent admit to wearing odd socks on a weekly
basis as a result.
Females in the same age bracket are most likely keeping track of their sock pairs with only 21 per cent regularly losing socks.
The larger the wash, the higher the likelihood of losing socks