The ‘desert island’ question

I have always found the desert island question interesting, especially as it’s a completely oddball question that can be posed in addition to the set of killer interview questions you may be asked as part of applying for a job. 

In fact, I used to recruit and there were times I would just throw it in for pure entertainment purposes.  However, the answers given can be telling if you can be bothered to analyse them!

Its purpose is to test both your resourcefulness and imagination.

But its one of those questions that if you wanted to be pernickety before answering it, your logical train of thought would be asking surely if you were stranded as the scenario warrants, the option of bringing something is a bit like after the horse has bolted! 

The next natural questions would be why would you want to be on a desert island in the first place as it is after all deserted/abandoned/empty/uninhabited?  This whole set up does not say one big holiday to me, it says no food, no people, extreme weather conditions, no shelter and untold danger, so where’s the fun in that unless your Bear Grylls! 

Finally, who actually thought up this zany question and why does it have to be an island?  Surely just anywhere deserted like a warehouse or why not mix it up with a deserted moon?

So now you know that a desert island isn’t where the unicorns hang out, so what should you take and what would you take? 

We can think practicality where your stay may become longer than a few hours or we can talk crazy chicken thinking where you run around the beach for a few hours doing crazy alone shit in the full knowledge someone will be picking you up before it gets dark and scary!

Let’s start with the down to earth. level headed rationale list – you are allowed five things; -

  • Why be predictable and take a big old knife to use for both protection and to hunt!  An Indiana Jones whip is high on my list, can you imagine what fun!  Not just to use to whip and rip any potential weapons from enemy hands, as lets face it this desert island may not be as deserted as you think!  Therefore, if anyone turns up unexpectedly, after a bit of practice, I could use it to grab them by the neck and draw them close for a quick punch to knock them senseless before hot footing it down the beach to hide and wait for my boat back.
  • Flint stones (not Fred and Wilma silly!) for lighting fires as matches will run out and if it’s a windy day then you are screwed!
  • Rope instead of duct tape as even though who doesnt see the advantages of duct tape?  Usually used to keep others quiet, or not? But who on a desert island is there to keep quiet – perhaps any fish I may kill to stop them from screaming!  The rope is to fell tree branches to make a shelter, for firewood, to make a swing like Tarzan’s or one just for fun. On a more serious survival note, it can also be used to strangle small animals for food (I cannot believe I am now thinking like a murderer!).  Or if I get really bored depending upon the amount of rope I can manage to take, I could do a bit of macramé or even attempt a hammock! Most deserted islands are filled with trees, so a hammock would provide a comfortable place to sleep those lonely nights away, not that I am planning to stay when darkness sets in. Depending on its structure and material, it can be repurposed as a fishing net or canvas bag, get me for being so creative!
  • Sunblock – there’s nothing worse than being stranded on a deserted island, except for being stranded on a deserted island and being sunburnt.  Sunburn is soooo painful and to be really savvy on the sunblock scene I would invest in one that has insect repellent in it as I am always ripe pickings for mosquitoes when I go anywhere!
  • Okay the knife is back on, it’s a no-brainer for protection (just in case I dont get the whip thing!), opening up those coconuts, cutting down bananas, and cutting vines to bind branches or logs together for a lean-to or a raft when I’ve decided I’ve had enough of being on a deserted island and need a plan of escape! (and if my lift doesn’t turn up for any reason!)
  • I have to make it six or just sneak this item into my bikini top – water purification tablets, as hey a girl needs to keep hydrated and I don’t want to be drinking any water that may have wild boar piss in it!

If on this practical side I would be allowed a luxury item, I would bring the most mahoosive cooler box (more like a trunk) filled with G&T’s!  Oh happy days and then just enjoy until I spot in my drunken haze my ride home!

However, if my 5 maybe 6 items (cut me a bit of slack) could be absolutely anything in the whole wide world, it would look slightly different;

  • Internet connection- as awesome as it would be to have this and therefore I would find a nice bit of shade and just carry on typing!  Albeit I doubt any network has a ‘desert island roaming’ package to offer and there is no fecking electric so scrap that one – right…..
  • Pen & paper will have to suffice so a A4 pad and a bic (always reliable!) so I can write and try and compose that Christmas song that is going to make me millions and able to retire onto an island that is not deserted and will have internet and a villa overlooking the sea and all the trimmings – as shallow as a plunge pool; always have been always will be!
  • Comfy sun lounger – one of those huge ones like having a covered four poster bed on the beach with mosquito nets in place and to ensure I don’t get burnt!
  • My kindle fully charged (as still not planning to stay) fully stocked up with all my favourite authors and lots of how to books to gain top tips to enhance my existence and utilise my time!
  • A camera to take some awesome pictures of the beach and sunset – do not plan to leave the beach – treating it as a day out in the sun- if it rains then the sun lounger simply turns into a shed (all bases covered).
  • Duty free magazine to choose in advance what I will purchase on my return flight home!
  • My sixth item is my handbag – just to have a good sort out as I never seem to get the time!

My luxury item is the same as before, as nothing quite like a G&T to quench the thirst and take the edge of being on a desert island where any goddamn freaky thing could happen!

Whats yours?