Grow Your Own Unicorn

Lets get straight to the point!  If the thing holding you back from having your own unicorn is the feeding, exercising, mucking out and grooming, then this surely has to be the  answer!

There’s no need to fork out on special unicorn food as all this mythical creature needs is water.

Simply place this mini horned horse into room temperature water and in around 72 hours your unicorn will be a picture of pint sized enchantment (or in technical terms 6 times bigger).

However your new fairy-tale friend won’t remain fully grown out of water and will shrink back to its original size in a few days…but don’t worry, you can grow your own unicorn again and again!

Grow Your Own Girlfriend

Eliminate the need for a real woman with the  Grow Your Own Girlfriend kit. It's a lot easier to convince this hot babe to go out with you and you shouldn't have too many problems keeping her happy either.

Failing to find love?

Beginning to think that the girl of your dreams doesn't exist?

She won't obsessively clean, she won't nag, and won't try to make you watch trashy tv with her. She'll just sit patiently in the corner waiting for you to pay her some attention.

There's a fair few things that a real girlfriend will refuse to tolerate. However, if you 'Grow a Girlfriend' then you open up a world of possibilities.

Want to spend all Sunday sitting in your pants watching the football? Do it.

Fancy going down the pub with the lads on Saturday night? Not a problem.

Feel like gaming all night? Go for it, she really won't mind.

It's the ultimate fuss free relationship for the man who can't seem to find the right lady.

She might only be 6 cm tall, but pop her in some room temperature water and she'll soon be up to 600% larger than her original size. She'll begin growing in a few hours and be fully grown in around 3 days.

If you ever feel like it's time to take a break, simply remove her from the water and she'll soon shrink. 

Grow Your Own Boyfriend

With Grow Your Own Boyfriend you can eliminate all the negatives of having a real life boyfriend and begin to reap the benefits instead.

Looking for Prince Charming and failing miserably?

Having a nightmare finding Mr Right?

Grow Your Own Boyfriend will help you forget the dating scene and move straight into the bliss of a steady relationship. Even better, you won't have to endure any snoring, comments on your gorgeous shoe collection, or the sight of him sniffing his underpants and then turning them inside out for another wear.

No more farting in bed, no more pee all over the toilet seat. You'll even get to watch what you want on telly every night.

He may be a teeny tiny hunk, but pop him in a bowl of water and he'll soon become the pocket sized other half that will love and cherish you.

All you have to do is pop him in some room temperature water and watch him magically grow over 3 days to 500% his original size.

Grow Your Own Willy

Grow Your Own Willy is a gift that is bound to get a giggle and raise more than an eyebrow.

Always standing to attention, this wet little soldier won't poke where it isn't wanted, answer back when you say you have a headache, or wake you up in the middle of the night.

For those who purely want to look at a willy without the hassle of inevitable sexual contact, this friendship could turn out nothing but a phallusy! 

Men who feel like they could be better endowed might also appreciate one of these little fellas... or not, as the case may be!

Simply pop this little todger into water and watch it grow over the next few days up to 600% of its original size. Once out of water, it will shrink back to its original size meaning you can grow it over and over, give it a name, and even make an art installation out of it. The modern version of all those classical statues with tiny appendages, that can be used it for its artistic qualities. Very rarely can you give a willy present with such artistic merit! 

This Grow Your Own Willy is not for sexual use, but that is the refreshing thing about it!

Grow A New Husband

Bored of the current one?  Does he get on your nerves?

He doesn't snore, hog the remote or ask you HOW much did you pay for those shoes!

By growing a new one its the perfect solution for any wife!

You can talk to him or torment him or simply ignore him - the possibilities are endless!

Place your miniature husband in water and watch, over a period of 72 hours, as he expands 600%.

Grow A New Mother-in-Law

Fed up with the current one? 

Does she come over and rearrange your house?  Clearly the coffee mugs should be stored in the cabinet over the coffee maker. Any idiot can see that!  

She thinks that her son is perfect and takes every opportunity to tell you this!  

She thinks a light knock on the door is all that is necessary before barging into a bedroom or a bathroom and insists on having a conversation through the door even though she knows your having an 'early night'.

So in order to keep her under control just grow a new one!

Grow Your Own Gay Best Friend

Grow A Gay Best Friend to be able to watch all those rubbish tear jerking rubbish Rom-coms with and who will honestly tell you that you look fat! But its ok, hes gay!

Watch Friends reruns together and argue whether Ross or Chandler is more boyfriend material, share dance moves and talk Sex in the City with your new expandable chum.

He gives his honest opinion on your outfit and hair and adores shopping all in handy pocket-sized form!

With cropped jeans, a pink shirt and flip-flops this is one gay friend indeed.

Simply pop him in a pot of water and in 3 days your gay best friend will have grown nearly 600% his original size!  

Grow Your Own Boobs

Always pert, these fun jugs will never sag with age unless they dry out, in which case they will shrink back to their original size. Luckily you can just rehydrate them again and again and regrow these voluptuous breasts to your hearts content. 100% gravity resistant.

The perfect present for a man who'd much rather stare at a pair than watch TV.

Know a man who wishes he had his own personal pair of breasts to fondle?  

He'll be pleased as punch to own a pair of these wobblies that he can stare at all he likes and not get a slap for it.

Or perhaps you have a flat-chested friend who is always moaning that she wants bigger boobs.

Women can have the pleasure of the Love Pillows they've always wanted with the Grow Your Own Breasts. Just place them in water and watch them expand! They can grow up to 600% their original size and will shrink back again when out of water. 

Grow Your Own Sports Car

A car that will never run out of petrol.

No speed limit No repair or maintainence bills and its environmentally friendly!

You never have to bring it to a carwash - it always stays clean No dents or scratches to worry over and no one will steal it - it fits in your pocket giving a new meaning to the word 'compact'

And hey impress - let everyone know you paid for it in cash!

No licence, registration, or insurance required.

Grow Your Own Male Stripper

As fun as going to watch a male stripper is unfortunately you can't take him away. But not to worry, as now you can Grow Your Own Stripper in the comfort of your own home.

Treat your male stripper right and he'll grow up to 600% larger than his original size which is a sizeable chunk of prime-rib that you'll end up with.

All you have to do to set him on his way is pop him in some water. If only the same trick worked on real life men!

Grow Your Own Boss

Come in at 9.30am, heck make it 12am or whenever you please. If you’re fed up of being underpaid and overworked then do something about it! This Grow Your Own Boss never says no to a pay rise. Rest assured though that if you feel like working in your underwear whilst wearing a cowboy hat and whistling the theme tune to The Golden Girls, you will not be judged, well, by your new boss anyway.

Grow Your Own Boss is for those who are forced to work weekends and have to endure motivational speeches of jargon picked from the dictionary of Dr. Seuss and George Bush.

This scarily little boss appreciates your hard work whilst turning a blind eye to the fact you’re on Facebook for half the day and playing computer minesweeper for the rest.

Simply place your new boss in a pot of water and watch them expand to 600% their original size.

If your new boss starts to annoy you, simply take them out of the water and watch them slowly shrink back to their original size so you can laugh and mock them at will.

Grow Your Own Pole Dancer

Not got the nerve to go to a real strip joint?

Now you can have your very own pole dancer!

No need to put money in her g-string, just add water and watch her expand up to 600% her original size. That seems to be the extent of her act, but her, you've saved yourself a membership fee and an expensive beer! 

Grow Your Own Pussy Cat

Is this fur-real? 

If you're after a pet with little maintenance and no fur then this might be the purr-fect solution! 

Litter-ally great for anyone who is after a pet but doesn't have time to give it much attention, or anyone who is a big cat fan!

This may be a pawsome solution and paws for thought to many peoples dilemmas when it comes to getting a cat.

Grow Your Own Sex Toy

No more lonely nights!

It can't cuddle; can't kiss and wont give you compliments, but it can add orgasmic intensity by stimulating key erogenous zones that a man doesn't always find or doesn't always know exist - not for sexual use but just add water and watch it expand up to 600% its original size. 

Grow Your Own Toy Boy

 If tiny men with the texture of a wet fish float your boat, then swoon your way over to this!  

No speed dating, no "Your eye wrinkles are hot", no having to sit through Jack Ass when you want to watch period dramas.

This little fellow will be the envy of all the other tiny, fish textured men in your life. Like your ex husband for instance...

Hatch Your Own Dinosaur Egg

Did you know that dinosaur eggs were the exact same shape and size of chicken eggs? 

No? Excellent as there is no scientific evidence to back this up!  But if you fancy hatching your very own dinosaur then this is perfect for you! 

Grow Your Own Hairy Beaver

For once no words are necessary!