Follow your dreams Laura – follow your dick Wes – perfect example that Love Island is not the foundation for finding a partner!

Okay we all suspected that the age gap was going to be a problem, Wes at a very immature 20 years old was doomed, although demonstrating at times great maturity like Confucius,

Confucius say knowing what is known and not knowing what is not known.  This is true knowledge – Ka Boom Confucius no wonder you were such a cool dude!

Wes who seemed to be happy in the coupling with Laura give or take a few domestics which all boiled down to a 29-year-old being at a different stage of her life, looking for different things, trying to quantify what is happening and rationale into the proceedings along the way.

And just when she was feeling secure and safe in this union even though the game of Snog, Marry & Pie was just that 'a game' some very telling tales shone out! 

Megan snogs Wes, Marries Alex and pies Eyal!

Wes snogs Megan marries Laura and Pies Georgia?  Oooh! Was this coincidental?  They both snogged each other!

Megan has dramatically changed her tune since Eyal guessed in another 'game' that she had bedded 37 blokes previously which really pissed her off as the reality is she has only bedded 20!  This for a stripper, someone who sells nude photos of herself and regularly attends S&M clubs was a bit of a surprise even for her 24 years and everyone watching especially in light of the Dr No Love admitting to sleeping with 30  people– Seriously?  Were they under anaesthetic?

Her low mood seemed to appear out of this and by Eyal comments about wishing to have more banter which infuriated and fuelled her into dumping old curly locks stating that they only seemed to have a physical attraction.  It was no banter and just bangter!  A simple interpretation for anyone who doesnt talk Bullshit = I have shagged you, you weren’t bad, but now perm boy it’s time to move on ….Adios and put some aftersun on your face!

Devious Megan ensures she does the rounds speaking to everyone she could setting the scene telling all that Eyal is seriously hot but banter should be natural adding her new liking for Wes and the shape of his mouth (always a great foundation builder)

As she watches with delight and malice Wes and Laura begin to go hammer and tongs at each other Megan does her "oh my god Laura will hate me" speech to anyone who wishes to listen after she has stolen a planned chat with Wes on the rooftop seating area urging him to kiss her and making her intentions towards him very clear.

Wes is confused - his head was spinning faster than a fairground waltzer decides to sit with Zara and Adam who confuse his muddled brain even further by sticking in their two pennies worth after the event!  Heres a thing - like - Adam is a chap who clearly likes to unsettle others by putting it out there, giving his opinion on what Wes should do – and did just that causing more mental disturbance by planting the seed that the grass with Megan is much greener and less confrontational than Laura’s patch  – Zara silly tits – 'I can change Adam and make him mine' also directed Wes steering him into the pathway of Megan. 

It was so clear from Wes’s face that he was being coaxed and coached into making a decision about Megan that let’s face it he will regret!  But hey little boy who you going cry to and about and who gives a toss as one day son you will realise your dick is not that magnet you believe it is and you will stop using it to be guided to all things including those that are sharp and damaging!

And Megan is that sharp and damaging object – nice to look at but that’s where it ends  - Any further and you will be sucked in and spit out but thats what Love Island is all about!

When Wes’s balls suddenly grew as big as his pyjama python he asked Laura for a 'chit chat' to divulge to her that the game had changed and now he was a player willing to turn his hand to Megan. 

Quelle surprise Wes when Laura didn’t react too well and told you to get fucked marching off into the Mediterranean sunset in her singback’s with her parting shot telling Megan she was a slag.

"Did she call me a slag?" Megan asks her band of dysfunctional housemates – Yes Megan correct she did and now let the game really begin........