Who would to Danny Dyer?


So, Danni must have thought it was just her Nan and Bruv who entered the villa on the ‘Meet the Parents’ slot as she already had warned it wouldn’t be her Dad, as he works 5 days a week and probably wouldn’t be able to get the time off.

So, what a nice surprise when she got a text asking her to go into the Living Room and even though she’s probably very used to seeing her old man on the TV, there up on the screen were her parents!

Immediately Dani’s eyes piped with happiness as she announced; ‘OMG, I miss you's! What’s you's doing? Mum you look sexy!’ (you's is the pural of you!)

Her Mum, Joanne Mas replied ‘Aint I a proper sort!’ (stunning, beautiful – a good thing!)

Dani is in shock and can’t believe it that after nearly two months she is chewing the fat with her MaD.

For this East End Julius Caesar who needs no introduction with a voice that only woodbines and being born within earshot of the Bow bells brings

Having played a few gangster roles, this is the only man who can send shivers down your spine with one word ‘Slag’, but he is not such a hard man without the script, a sensitive soul who is elated to see his bucket of water (daughter).

‘Babe, mate we are so proud of you I always told you, you never believed me!’

Dani looking for reassurance from them both of her time on the island checks in; ‘But yous are proud of me I’ve done alright?

One proud Dad replies, ‘Ooh you’re an absolute hero mate!’

Then comes the all-important question;

Do you's like Jack?

Just like any normal parents they both say no and her Mum shouts out to the camera, we call im (him) ‘Jack the Ripper which I found a little odd but still terms of endearment can be different for us all!

Her Dad decided to wind her up even more and stated, ‘No what it is I would like to get my hands around his neck and I wanna choke him til his head pops off!’  But he did follow this proposed act of violence with ‘No babe he’s lovely!’

The man from Canning Town he say Yes!

Dani was absolutely made up and relieved to hear such positivity and confirmed Jack had been so lovely to her whilst in the Villa!

Her Dad is only too quick to agree; ‘You know what you’ve found a right proper geezer in there!’

Joanne, her mum starts doing a bit of ‘give us a clue’ behind her pot’s (pot and pan – old man) back to indicate that he has been crying to which he quickly retorts that he hasn’t been crying every night which he repeats twice just to make the point!  Doesn’t want to be seen as too soppy!

You held your own babe everything you’ve done your so funny and you’ve really just pulled it out the bag he tells Dani who jumps up and tells them she’s got to go and get Jack and instructs them to wait there.

Dani runs down the villa and outside shouting ‘Jack my Mum and Dad are on face time!

Jack in the midst of talking families with the others replies, ‘Shut up!’ but in a nice disbelieving can’t believe it sort of way

‘You need to come and talk to them’ Dani urges, and Jack is on his toes making it in her direction wanting to know more; ‘Where?’  ‘In the living room’ she tells him.

‘Shut up!’ says Jack as together they run back to the living room

Then you hear Danny Dyers gangster voice; ‘Where is he? I’m gonna kill im.  Her mum joins in and shouts ‘Where are you Jack?’ Danny voice takes centre stage ‘Where is he im going kill the geezer!’

As Dani and Jack enter the room and sit on the bean bag together – his voice of gravel states ‘Ere they are!’ followed by ‘Where is he im going kill him - where is he?

Jack looks a bit concerned, but rises to the challenge with ‘Don’t you dare,don’t you dare!’ (ooh ahh missus!).

‘Sit down and talk to Mum now’ barks out Dani’s Mum who is actually coming over scarier than Danny Dyer.

Jack admits feeling nervous which didn’t go unnoticed by the potential in-laws.

‘Look at him look at his little face!’  Her Mum did, made a face in response and blurted out ‘Oh no urrh, urgh!’

Maybe it was part of the wind up, but out of the two her Dad seems to be a lot more into Jack whilst her Mum appeared to be sitting on the fence.

‘You know what Jack? Listen you’re a proper geezer gotta say mate I tell you what I love about you, I love the fact you got a little Darby (Darby Kelly – Belly) you got so much charisma I tell you what!

Jack agreed ending in a question ‘You know what its not all about the abs it’s not about abs is it?’

‘No, it aint mate takes a brave man to bowl in that gaff their all ab’d up, aint got nothing about them, no disrespect yeh proper geezer honestly mate we’re so over the moon aint we – what yous two have done in there!’

Jo grabs Danny and says this is what we did babe in our love life in 1993!

Danny composes himself and continues with his you are alright mate speech; ‘You looked after each other, it’s a beautiful thing! You know what I mean it’s rare!  Getting the necessary pop in and setting out the boundaries that they don’t miss a trick he added ‘You’ve only upset her once Jack well done, congratulations!’

Jack understanding that him and Danny are going to get on asks ‘Do you approve of me Jo and then asks Dan do you approve of me?

Dani’s Mum was quick to answer with ‘no not yet, not yet!’

But DD didn’t want the parade pissed on and retorted ‘She’s talking bollocks, no listen I approve of you mate I think your absolutely bang on I weren’t at first, I thought here we go…’

Her Mum throws out a serious question to Dani ‘Are you moving in with him?

Danni and Jack both confirm this to be the case and her parents both start cheering! The fence was no longer required!

Some final words of wisdom from DD to Jack were shared; ‘This is where your life proper starts now I tell you, your going milk it, going to love, and I tell you what Jack Im gonna get a couple of bits to sign for you!’

Jack laughs at the last bit after his forced confession that he has Danny Dyer memorabilia in his room ‘I knew you were going to say that!’

‘We will sort something out – ill sign your arm whatever you want son to which Jack suggests oddly ‘Sign me head’ Not put off DD confirms he will sign his nut for him.

DD says listen we are so proud of you! Can’t wait to have a meet up, have a nice bit of munch and its gonna be a beautiful thing – life – look we can’t complain, can we?

They all agree and in the immortal words of Danny Dyer senior the words; Life’s f***ing beautiful innit!

And who are we to argue?  Life is pretty beautiful and for Jack and Dani they deserve to win, regardless of who her dad is!

These are two individuals who have been drawn together, protected and looked after each after, have respected each other and deserve to win!  My moneys been on them from the very start, they are very watchable and, in some respects, quite old fashioned in the way they are together!

Good Luck for tonight and for the future as whatever happens this is not the last we have seen of these particular Love Islanders!