Oh Ryan Mark what was happening in Week 5 - it seems that you have been spending far too long with riff raff, as at times you appeared to forget your airs and graces and it became
all very Carry on Up the Cambridge with a few moments that were far from professional!
One would have thought that with such a wealth of knowledge and his exposure
to so many life events making him confident he has what it takes to become Lord Sugars next business partner that this task would be right up Ryan Mark's cul de sac! Oh Matron!
Would he be PM? Should he be PM? The only other potential PM was Jemelin and it was bleeding obvious from her lack of knowing anything about anything that she wasnt right. If chosen, the odds were high from the off that
the outcome wasnt looking bright.
Ryan Mark did give a half-hearted speech using his one and only visit to Oxford on a school trip to be taken into consideration before voting
for Jemelin and so she became PM - might as well reserve that seat in the boardroom!
The task was to identify a list of words whilst taking on board any specified
requirements, then locate where they would be sold, purchase them by gaining as much of a discounted price as possible - simples! Any items not found would receive a penalty, so it was all to play for!
One of the items needed was a book from the Alice in Wonderland collection with its specification being pre-WW2. When Pamela asked if anyone knew the dates WW2 started (why didnt she
know?) surely with his accomplished studies in history taken only a few years beforehand and given the importance of such an event, it was an excellent opportunity for Ryan Mark to speak up. Normally speaking up is something he doesnt have a problem
doing! But instead he sat looking uncomfortable choosing not to say a peep!
Whilst Riyonn led the team down the wrong garden path saying that a mortar board was something to do with a plasterer, again this was an opportunity for Ryan Mark to intervene and yet considering Oxford
and Cambridge were the locations for this task and only a pea of a brain would be able to see the relevance - once again nothing! Not even a pea brain Ryan - shame on you!
No surprise he went along with the rye bread theory for Toad and had no idea what a Quant was? Mirror anyone?
But once in Cambridge running around like a headless chicken, it was egg citing times as he paid £2.75 for the eggs (twice the price of Team Unison), and a bushel of apples was acquired for £45.00. Onto
the town centre where he looked for inspiration not having a scooby where he was even though there was map in his hand throughout. “What street are we on? Do you know where we are?”
Look at the map!
In the company of two other gormless souls,
Carina suggests a visit to the Library where they approach someone wearing a lanyard whose name was Ms you can ask but I won’t have the answer to any of your
questions – perhaps Lottie had paid her off in advance? The Librarian code similar to the Freemasons cannot be broken!
Do you know what a rigger jigger is? No. Do you know what a quant is. No. Do you know what Toad is? We think it’s a local bread. No, not heard of it.
Having taken the librarian oath, there was no cracking this normally informative individual.
We really appreciate your time said Ryan Mark. Really? Did you? Even though you wanted to say we really appreciated you wasting our time!
over Jemelin’s leadership style and having to look to others Ryan Mark stated it was a bad quality to have! Glass houses and throwing stones come to mind as he handled the next situation very badly! Making a phone call in his quest to discover
what a quant is – Mirror anyone? He was advised it is a punting pole – What is a punting Pole – OMG Ryan Mark - are you for real - someone pinch him! Did you share the cupboard under the stairs with Harry Potter? Another phone call
is made to establish what a punting pole is, and the penny finally drops. We must away to the river he instructs his colleagues in a theatrical manner and off they go only to be seen to be doing a u turn back having no sense of direction. Now whose
Mr U Turn Mr Parsons?
Back to the river and he has a ‘Oh Matron’ moment as his opening gambit to a nearby punter is “I
love your pole”. He is becoming the duke of double entendre's - what with this and last weeks flashing balls - viewers all across the country are wafting themselves with the latest copy of the radio times!
Dramatically Ryan tells the punter they have been looking everywhere which is a complete lie as they had just arrived. The punter explains that for a new Quant it would cost £200 but
because he has been using it for a couple of years, he could let them have it for £140. The barter goes back and forth, up and down until it stops at £125.00 with Ryan Mark offering to take the pole away straight away – well he was
hardly going to post it to you Ryan Mark!
Still resembling a trio of Forest Gump's, they continue to run around having spent 5 hours of their day doing
diddly squat! This time they are running through Cambridge with a massive pole – Stop messing about!
The task is coming
to an end as the clock is near to striking 5pm and everyone must now get to the agreed meeting points on time. If they are late, they will incur a penalty.
Come on Ryan Mark take that coat off and run like a little piggy.
he is sweating profusely – sweating like a pig and needs to be fanned down! Not a copy of radio times to be seen for miles!
to lay off the Ferrero Rocher and curb the glasses of cab sav love!
Will he still be sweating over the next task?
Watch this space........