Herd the one about the elephant that turned out to be a wino!

The Boardroom – Week 1

After reiterating the brief for the first task set, Sir Alan began by questioning the boys.

Lewis kicked it off by confirming he was PM & they decided on a safari with Ryan as Sub Team Leader. 

Keen to understand the negotiation tactics used to determine ticket price, Riyonn was keen to oblige failing to mention the insulting 450 rand he offered to get the business ball rolling. 

However, spotting a potential opening Keena couldnt wait to throw his team mate under the jeep to how offended the game reserve woman had been & boast about how he saved the day.

It's interesting how the boardroom turns each candidate into ruthless individuals who feel the need to get noticed by promoting other peoples negative points – ironic when there is nothing particularly positive about them, I believe it is called deflection!

Instead of talking shop Souleyman shared his cultural experience & how he placed Springbok poo in his mouth.  This was something Sir Alan found hard to swallow – Boom Boom!

Everyone in the room knew Claude & Karen report back every single detail to Sir Alan furnishing him with every story but as always at this point its time for him to investigate more, dig a little deeper & shake things up to see if the truth comes out.

Acknowledging & summarising their decision to go on a safari he questioned the lads if it was a done deal to see the big 5 as part of their ticket selling. 

Lewis said it wasnt even though unconvincingly & looking very suspicious.  Luckily it was Dean's turn.  This is the one who boasted he could sell ALL 16 tickets which hadnt quite gone to plan!  Thomas was pulled up on this re being too cocky with an early prediction of getting it done so fast he could go and have a nice meal.

The boys only sold 12 tickets, their 2 hour safari became 4 hours, their rock painting took place in the dark faster than usain bolt needing the toilet leaving only 15 minutes of shopping time.  The latter was a problem in Sir A's opinion as safaris were all about selling merchandise!  Looking disapproving he said even the zebras came with their own bar codes – Boom Boom!

Leaving the male contestants to dwell on that one, he turned his attention to the women. 

Scarlett had been the PM adopting a strategy of high price, high profit with guidance of whatever happens don’t sell below 2,200 rand & yet at the end of the day they needed 16 people so dropped to 600 rand per person which was a fatal error.

Jemelin got 30% off the merchandise & discounted tickets but Lubna intervened saying there hadnt been much negogiation, it had been a simple exchange of Jemelin asking, the man telling her what the lowest price would be and her agreeing to it.

Sir Alan wanted to find out more about the missing cellar comparing what happened to a Benny Hill sketch as the women couldn’t find the cellar, they also lost the group at one point. 

Carina decided this was a good enough as any time to pipe up to defend herself telling Sir Alan that she gave every fact she had on the sculpture garden - if memory serves right - that was just two - the name of the sculpturer and what the sculptures were made of!.

He cut her short stating it wasn’t professional!  However he praised Lottie for doing a good job running the masterclass and said if it wasn’t for her they would be right in the shiraz – Boom Boom!

As everyone digested this it was time to get down to the numbers;

Girls Total Spend - £233.49

Ticket & Wine Sales - £1003.45

Refunds - £249.03 (Refunds were given for the guests who paid the top ticket price) 

Overall Profit - £520.93

Boys Total Spend - £510.84

Total Ticket & Souvenir - £987.03

Refunds - None 

Overall Profit - £476.19


So the first task was won by The Women by £44.00.

The treat - to go back to a fabulous rented home to find champagne on ice.