This week instead of a phone call it was a delivery of high vis vests at 4am with a note to be ready in 20 mins destination Battersea Depot or in Deans world de pot.

Lottie doing her hair talks to the girls as they get ready admitting she hadn’t been PM but she wont put herself forward for a challenge that doesn’t suit.  No nonsense Carina advises ‘you have just got to take what you can!’

Ryan Mark is feeling energy coming through his being and announced for this task he will be PM and wants to show Lord Sugar how fantastic he is.  The expectation is set and now the proof will be in the pudding or lack of one!

At Battersea depot high vis vests in place Lord Sugar provides the details for their next task  - Steam Trains; palaces on wheels which he wants them to get on board with those huffer puffer gravy trains and prepare a corporate away day in which they will be responsible for negotiating price, food, drink and entertainment.  He warns if the away day is not up to scratch the client can ask for a full refund.

As it is a luxury experience he makes Ryan Mark one PM and Lottie the other (lets face it she knows Fortum & Masons so is the perfect candidate).

Lewis moves over to Npower as Lord Sugar announces corporate hospitality is a serious business worth over 1 billion pounds a year - shame he wont be seeing any of it!

Lottie starts the proceedings by suggesting hopefully she will do the team proud.  Whereas Ryan Marks main objective is all about making sure it’s all about luxury and connecting with emotions and working with the senses.  Bullshit is always one of those senses that can be sensed quite quickly!  Marianne reminds him to keep in mind that is is a profit task.

However, Lottie doesn’t need this reminder focusing on it being a profit-making task first and foremost and wants to place a theme asking her team for any ideas.  Carina suggests circus which Lottie thanks her out of the box quirkiness suggesting that perhaps they should make it 1920s  - she takes every opportunity to grate on peoples nerves by stating she has been chosen by Lord Sugar as PM for this task.  They know Lottie they were there – we also know Lottie as we were there!

Ryan Mark is also thinking of a theme and looking at the choice to audition – juggling/string sensation with some incredible musicians.   Lewis keeps getting visions of the titanic – which sunk so great vision Lewis! Like having the grime reaper on your shoulder! This doesn’t bode well as Ryan Mark bangs on about there being beautiful music in background on the passengers arrival - pure luxury dear boy!

Cue Thomas who feels that Ryan Mark is in his element and absolutely oozing luxury ending his observations with we have got this one! Ever heard that expression about never counting your chickens or perhaps meat pies Thomas?

Lottie wants to audition a juggling duo before she announces who she wants to do what in this task and we all know Lottie if you want to succeed doing a project on trains, you have to ensure you learn how to keep track of every detail.

She wants Carina to be on food team with her bakery background, Scarlett on the corporate team and before she can allocate anyone further Dean wanted to stress the point that he wants to be on the corporate team.  Even though Lottie assures him she has full faith in him her decision is to place him on the food & beverage team making Carina Sub Team Leader.

Ryan Mark along with Marianne and Lewis will be on the corporate team making Thomas and Pamela responsible for the food and Pamela Sub Team Leader.

While half of each team sets out for food tasting, a task you don’t have to sell to Thomas or his expanding waistline, the teams discuss money and what they should charge for their luxury corporate away days.

Lottie is looking at £300 per person maybe £270 being the very lowest and confident they can sell this very easily.

In Central London the first corporate client lined up for Ryan Mark's team are STA Travel as the meeting takes place in their head office.  Ryan Mark announces the price his team will charge is £500 per person.

At the beginning of the meeting Marianne asks what the clients want to gain from the experience.  As it is their 40th anniversary they want it to be a fun and exciting day.  Ryan Mark explains that their trip is a quintessentially British journey with musicians which all sound great to the client but its not what they are looking for clarifying that each year their best people are taken away and they want the event centred on partying and just having a good time.

The client tells Ryan Mark that £500 is too high with their ideal price point being £199.50 and once this is agreed they are happy to leave it in Ryan Marks capable hands

Cue Claude who is concerned that Ryan Mark is too caught up in luxury for a task which is all about profit.

Ryan Mark is dismayed at the reduction in price and the clients brief as when he thinks about luxury this is not what he is thinking about!  Just disembark RM as it appears that you have been going down the wrong tracks!

Lottie’s corporate client is a soft drinks company Franklin & Sons where in all her braying she happens to mentions she is trained as Michelin star service so reassures them, she will be front of house – another talent Lottie – give us a brake!  She is so full of hot air being on a steam train should be perfect for her - forget the coal!

Establishing food requirements with one vegetarian, Lottie announces their price point of £300 per head which is too expensive and the client admits the budget would be half of this.  Lottie wants to know what movement is achievable and the client say they would settle on £200 on the basis of no entertainment and the most important condition is to not run out of drink.  Lottie gives an absolutely saying there will not be a dry glass on the day!

Cue Scarlett who is feeling nervous that the client is expecting the drink not to run dry feeling that Lottie has promised a lot and can’t deliver.

Lottie calls the sub team telling them that they had hit a brick wall but she managed to push the clients to £200 per head – selective memory on that one Lottie!

But more important than the price is the alcohol.  Carina asks if she had promised untold amounts of alcohol which Lottie is quick to say she didn’t promise – that’s true she just stated that there wouldn’t be a dry glass.  She advises Carina and Dean to drop the entertainment and not go ahead with the auditioning of a potential act.

Cue Carina who feels like the corporate client is expecting unlimited alcohol- spot on Carina but you won’t hear that from the horse’s mouth she is too busy boasting of her Michelin serving skills!

Thomas tries to negotiate on the food with what is the best best price that can be done – not just the best but the best best which has to be better than the mere best.  At £30 with no movement they decide to go with the beef pie.

Ryan Mark also touches base with his sub team explaining of the low expectations from the client in comparison to his definition of luxury and is having to consider cutting the entertainment.  Thomas suggests that he and Pamela still hold the audition and see if he can get them to play for free. you may be a good salesman Thomas but not that good!

Mid-afternoon Carina and Dean have purchased 20 bottles of merlot and 20 bottles of chardonnay.  Carina is feeling confused and frustrated with the fact that they have decided to have a circus theme and yet will have no circus act. She feels that they need something extra and feels that they should go ahead with the audition regardless of what Lottie has instructed.  Dean feels its a bold decision but will back her all the way.

Carina and Dean go ahead and audition the juggling duo and after watching them explain that there is no budget and suggest that perhaps they could get them for £100 or £125 – eventually £140 is shaken on.

Across town Thomas and Pamela are watching the violinist and after the performance enquiry to what is the best price would be.  With only £20 off Thomas is keen to call the sub team and tell them how good they are feeling they need to be booked.  Ryan Mark is happy to go ahead with them stating it needs to be memorable and announcing the luxury is back!

Entertainment secured – plans in place – tomorrow it will be full steam ahead

However, Lottie is not a happy little tight lipped bunny when speaking to Dean and Carina who confirm they purchased 40 bottles of wine as she said 1 per person and feels their buying went against what she specified.  She was not amused either at them booking the entertainment when the client said they didn’t want it.  Cue Lottie ranting to camera using words like utterly ridiculous & enormous cock up.

Ryan Mark now knowing the type of person boarding their train predicts the energy needs to be high high high and on this note has changed the teams around with it being him, Lewis and Thomas front of house and Marianne and Pamela in the kitchen preparing the food.

Lottie is also allocating new roles placing Scarlett in the kitchen.  Dean once again interjects requesting not to be put in the kitchen  which makes Lottie uptight and even more bossy than usual -  if that is actually possible.  Just listen to me Dean you are on front of house team lets give them a fab experience everyone- great pep talk Lottie – makes everyone want to work under you!

Lottie wastes no time in grilling Dean to who made the decision to go against her wishes out of him and Carina – Dean no balls was quick to utter one word – Carina.  Well he backed her none of the way so in his silly little head it was some of the way!

Lottie makes contact via phone to Carina and Scarlett who are in the kitchen and informs Carina that she has made a decision and is passing the leadership over to Scarlett.  Not allowing Carina to speak she ends the call by wishing her a really lovely day bye!  Great tactic just speak over someone and then end the call - great management technique!

The whole incident makes Lottie look like a total fruitcake and control freak.

Marianne having identified that they had made no allowances for vegan or people with food intolerances requested 2 risotto for £50 recognising that anyone with an allergy will cause an enormous problem but if you don’t ask how can you be prepared?

At 11am with Lottie the tight lipped controller in charge she meets and greets her corporate clients with those immortal words no dry glasses today!

Thomas more laid back as ever dressed as a knight welcomes their clients into their kingdom.  It is only now they are asking people if they have any food allergies and discover vegetarians, gluten free no dairy etc

Cue Claude who appears to be enjoying all the merriment that Ryan Marks team are creating and remarks that the atmosphere is buzzing – can they keep it up for the whole journey or will they run out of steam?

Already Lottie’s clients are running on empty having downed their glass of prosecco quicker than a freight train.  Then Lottie says what no one wishes to hear on a boozy corporate away day - would you like juice?

Karen was appalled reminding Lottie that they had been promised the alcohol wouldn’t run out and she had already! 

But the truth was Lottie hadn’t run out she just didn’t want to part with any alcohol unless on her terms which was to serve Michelin style to her clients – these were clients who didn’t give a flying fart about Michelin style service in normal life they dealt all the time with soft drinks and therefore craved alcohol in large quantities!

At Midday they make tracks and Lottie still in control is delighted to have everyone on board and wonders if she can tempt them to a glass of red or white - do bears shit in the woods Lottie?  Get with the programme!

Lottie always on a mission to outdo others decides that now is the right time to teach Dean how to pour wine.  On the other train Thomas's approach of hands up who wants a drink and placing wine on  every table goes down a treat!

Lottie failing to meet drink expectations is now quickly losing control and only being able to pour wine but not open the bottles starts fing and geoffing out loud asking where the fuck Dean is – not very ladylike Lottie – goodness remember to next time request a hamper from Aldi as Fortum and Masons are shocked by such behaviour and no longer wish to be associated with you!

Cue Karen who confirms that the guests have been on board for an hour and are receiving the opposite of Michelin service.  It is an absolute shamble she declares!

Scarlett is perfecting the pies with Carina whilst on the other team Pamela and Marianne find themselves in an awkward situation as none of their dishes are gluten free leaving the fruit salad as the only option as the main for this gluten free passenger.

Cue Claude who observes for £200 a head it is rather an expensive fruit salad.  Really Claude - who wouldnt pay £200 notes for a few berries and a sprig of mint?

With the 1st course ready to go on Lotties train she instructs Dean to take 2 plates at a time although clarifying she can take 3 plates at a time – only 3 plates Lottie – what a huge disappointment – one would think with your abundance of skills you would be able to balance at least 12 on each arm and some on that very big head of yours!

So intent on lecturing Dean on what to ask when he placed plates in front of the hungry passengers Carina has to track them down to advise that she needs service.  Her request goes seemingly unheard as for Lottie it is more important to repeat the instructions given to Dean at least another 10 times – who cares that the food is getting cold!

Pamela finally tells Ryan Mark about the no gluten free option situation and he confirms he will explain situation to gluten free lady asking her if fruit salad is ok? Well she can hardly say no!

With everyone hungry on Ryan Marks train the pressure is beginning to show and luxury seems just the name of somewhere or a station they had rushed past never to be seen again.

With no bottles on any tables, Lottie demands another 3 plates much to Carina’s plea not to drop them as they have no more food should any accidents occur.  Carina instructs to take the wine but Dean fearing the wrath of Lottie says Lottie said not to – what an absolute pussy you really are Dean!

With some very hungry campers and no food the flame has gone out in the oven but as they are due back in London soon they need to get the food out as soon as possible and are still waiting for the pies to be ready.

As Lottie’s lot dish up dessert Ryan Mark finally lays on lunch with a huge applaud on the entrance of the fruit salad for the lady selfish enough to need gluten free food!


At the end of the journey Lottie is proud of her team but is quick to state if they fail, she will blame Carina for spending an excessive amount on alcohol!

On Ryan Marks Team - who ate all the pies - no it wasnt Thomas - eventually his passengers got to dine but will this be one luncheon that sticks in Ryan Mark's throat for a very long time?

Destination tomorrow the boardroom!