& that was just Lottie!


What a joy Thomas is even at 5am his Del Boy outlook and mode of communication kick in ‘Bonjour’

The voice provides the destination and further instruction; Maida Vale Studios/Cars outside in 20 mins

However, on sharing the news no one knows what Maida Vale Studios are - all related to Harry Potter and lived under the stairs for many years?

Carina expresses she is excited - always good to be excited about the unknown!  But it is recognised throughout as the numbers reduced the pressure increases.

Lord Sugar provides a bit of background; Maida Vale Studios are where hitmakers have been recording their work for over 75 years – its historical where David Bowie, Amy Whitehouse and The Beatles have all recorded here.  18m generated by selling individual tracks in films, games, tv adverts etc. 

He wants the candidates to secure licensing deals on new and up and coming artists on their behalf. He has also arranged for them to meet a top brand to who are looking to licence a top track on its latest advertising campaign.

Both teams have 2 days to secure licencing deals.

So, who is going to be PM this week?

Step up dreary Dean whose favourite band is Little Mix – that’s the most exciting revelation since he started this process!  He feels that this task is right up his street engaging with the client, dealing with commission - it’s what he has been doing – thank god as the nation had been wondering what it actually was that he did!

Lottie’s turn who informs the small faction that she is very into her classical and has been playing her viola for 15 years and other string instruments.  It was at this point that Scarlett raised her eyebrows so much, one fell off!

Lottie was unstoppable, she had also dabbled in piano and could nail a Kendrick Lamar album – Damn!  Not sure if that is the one, she can nail released by American rapper Kendrick Lamar through Top Dawg Entertainment. 

Scarlett had just reapplied the missing eyebrow only for it to once again be subjected to reaching some severe heights nearly fringe level!

Lottie or now known as Da Real Lottie shares with her crew who she thinks are impressed; ‘so, yeah I know that’s a trick up my sleeve’. She goes on ‘I don’t want to call it a talent, that sounds really cocky, but it is a talent, it’s something I have done for a very long time’.  OMG someone pinch her to see if she is for real!

Dean apparently fed up with listening to such bullshit cannot wait for Lottie’s continuation of musical skills and bullshit boasting interjects speaking in the main to Carina and Scarlett.  ‘Are you happy with me?  ‘Cool’ states Carina and Scarlett agreeing that Dean can be PM.  Dean is delighted and thanks the two of them confirming his excitement.  Lottie looks as though she has just swallowed a viola, perhaps it’s the one she has been playing for 15 years?

Heading up the other team, Lewis shares it’ had been a while since he had led the team – Newsflash Lewis – The world is still coping!

On this team, they decide to choose the split to who will take the corporate client and who will audition the artist.

Thomas sees himself on the artist side feeling that he can talk to everyone (regardless of if they want him to) and can build a good relationship with someone (Lord Sugar? – perhaps not!).

Marianne normally wants to go for the corporate side but on this task has a leaning for the artist side.  But Pamela questions Marianne’s choice feeling that this one trip corporate pony may not be able to build a meaningful relationship with the artist and instead scare them off.

Marianne takes exception to Pamela’s concerns, quick to point out she had many different sides.  'Great' was Pam's reply.

Cue Pamela; 'The issue I have with Marianne is that she is very corporate, but she is negotiating with an artist who isn’t corporate so I think she will be a little firm'.

It was decided Lewis and Pamela have the corporate clients and Thomas and Marianne will deal with the artists.

Dean is deciding who will do what and shares he wants to be on the artist side.  He puts the question out to the rest of his team.

Lottie starts her justification speech – hold onto those eyebrows Scarlett; ‘I can read and write music which is a quite good skill to have if we are going to be remixing.  Carinas face is priceless.  Carry on Lottie everyone’s listening really? ‘I can overlay because I have worked in an orchestra’ – Was that in-between working in the best wine bar in the UK or when you took a break from playing the viola for 15 years? 

She bangs on regardless, ‘I think it’s really important that the artist knows that we know what they are talking about’ – Absolutely Lottie – the only question is do you know what you are talking about?

Scarlett’s eyebrows have taken a beating and Carina looked far from impressed; to her a viola is a plant with purple flowers so is still trying to work out why it took Lottie 15 years to try and play it!  Claude just carries on taking notes taking all this new information in his stride.  What a legend!

Bless Dean it’s as though he completely switches off when Lottie talks, he doesn’t acknowledge it, makes no reference to it and just comes in with a different angle all the time; ‘so heres what I am thinking, nice one Dean – nice to know that something is happening between your ears!  He makes Carina sub team leader on the corporate side with Scarlett confirming its him and Lottie on the artist side.

Cue Lottie - I have only ever worked once with Dean in leadership and he was extremely slated, so I do think I will have to take the reins occasionally and point him in the right direction.  He is not one of your horses! What would he do without you?

The teams divide and Carina is concerned; when she worked with Dean, it was her leading so is worried that if he allows Lottie to lead, it will be in the wrong way!

Marianne is talking to Thomas about commission stating it’s all about the best commission and recommending they should go for 25%.

Thomas feels they could get a lot more with the rationale; They could be the biggest talent, but if no one is selling them….

With Dean and Lottie, it’s all about being charming and not talking about commission straight away.

The first act on is Gabrielle who when she finished Lottie aka Simon Cowell was ready with her views; ‘Absolutely fantastic, what I really, really, love about you is not only your amazing talent but your fantastic image, which is something we can really work with’.  Bet Gabrielle’s life now has meaning Lottie!

The next act Dean was super excited about – an R&B Act called Royal.  Dean was gushing at the end of this act; ‘Wow, I don’t know about you Lottie, but I really like that, I’ve been working in talent management for nearly 5 years, we really want you to know you’re in the right hands, we are experts in the industry’.  Experts in the Industry- 5 mins and Experts? – Who are these doughnuts?

Moving onto Thomas whose dogmatic black and white approach is not going to hit any good notes with any artist as his take on commission to go for a 50/50 split - Marianne agrees to his strategy.   

First act Thomas gets straight to the point – ‘Love your voice mate, songs really good so how about a 50/50 split?  With a team as powerful as us you need a 50/50 split to move forward. Au revoir Thomas! 

Cue Karen.  She feels it is clear to her that all Marianne and Thomas care about is the level of commission, they are hardly even interested in the song.  Now for the Confucius take on the situation - 'But if the client doesn’t want the music and it doesn’t fit the brief the commission may as will be 100% as a 100% is still nothing'. (destine for a fortune cookie!),

At West London at a leading energy drinks company Scarlett and Carina are getting a taste for the brief.  The client wants them to get creative for their Lucozade advert.  Carina asked if they are looking for urban but their spec is broad looking for something that gets you pumped, motivated and is upbeat.  With a budget for something newly created between 40 – 60k depending on how well they think it’s going to work.

Carina summarises that the music needs to fit client brief and if so, they have got it in the bag - amazing observations!

At sports giant Umbro with the other team, their advert is to show real football culture around the world by presenting a match day, some game action and some of the people being very happy as their team won and others disappointed  - they want the music to be exciting with the only criteria being no love songs as they don’t work for them.

Lewis assures the client they have a clear vision.  The money stake is between 50 – 75k.  Pamela’s parting words to the client are ‘Think we can do something really great for you.  Shame Thomas and Marianne didn’t get the memo!

The last act performs and at the end Thomas is still a one-way street – ‘Love the song - let’s make it a 50/50 split – it can’t be any better than that! Umm it can be Thomas – it can be a lot better – just try and think out of your pillow!

The artist is thinking about 30% but not for long as Thomas is not ‘even entertaining the idea and replies with a big fat ‘Can’t do it’.

Marianne throws 30% on to the table – artist asks for 20% - Marianne agrees.  Thomas promises they could have got a lot more!

Now what’s happening with those crazy kids Dean and Lottie?  On the last act Lottie is gushing in her braying hooray Henrietta way ‘My gosh, amazing, I’ve been in the music industry for 15 years – WHAT?  First its 15 years playing the viola and you aint no Nobuko Imai that’s for sure and now just because from the age of 4 unlike the majority of kids who just play up, you reckon you played the viola and due to this you have the brass balls to say you have been in the music industry for 15 years – Lord Sugar – you cannot be serious!

They shake on 30% and the artists exclaim - Like you guys to which Dean and Lottie reply - Like you even more!  Someone pass me the sick bag!

With all the artists auditioned its chance for both teams to check in with each other.

Lucozade first where Scarlett and Carina share the information, they gained passing on what was important – Carina advising the strapline to get the nation moving.  Dean is quick to match up the words from the song and felt 'have to go' sounded perfect.

Pamela and Lewis advise of Umbro movie advert day in football – and say it needs to be exciting, positive, joyful and no love songs!

Thomas on the back of the information tells Marianne that he wants to go with Royal as it ain’t a love song.  Marianne differs saying it is a love song.  Marianne decides to contact the last act which is the same band Dean and Lottie have got their eyes on.  She offers 20% but the artist tells her as they showed naivety in terms of 50% they dont feel they should represent them as their manager. 

Instead they go with Dean and Lottie for 30%..

Thomas confuses Marianne when he tells her ‘I think we have had a right touch’ He means touch of good luck, but for an American who finds him challenging and has never watched Only Fools & Horses she just assumes he is touched as in the head! 

Thomas announces he really likes Royal and even though it could be a love song they can remove the lyrics – with that they are going to crack it!

Between Thomas and Marianne, they listen to the lyrics to see what they can keep.  The only two words to subsequently leave their mouths were – ‘that’s out’.

Cue Karen – Marianne and Thomas have been told the client doesn’t want a love song and all they are concentrating on is cutting out big chunks of the music. They are going to end up with hardly any lyrics at all!

Marianne identifies a problem - it’s a love song – give the woman a medal!

Lottie and Dean are coming to blows as Lottie wants to take charge and for once Dean has grown a pair and challenges her – in fact he does more than challenge he actually says no.  Lottie who doesn’t recognise anything but her own way uses the we must move on and we don’t have time chestnut, but Dean is not budging!

Marianne is now singing – Could it get any worse?

Thomas with his passport to Thomas Land firmly in his hand announces that everyone will be singing it and he for one can’t get it out of his head – Bosh!

Marianne with her passport in hand freshly stamped into Thomas Land agrees;  I like it I like it - OMG They may as well not even bother to go into the boardroom!

With the remixes recorded tomorrow is all about selling the songs.

So have the teams been in tune with their clients?  Carina isn’t sure that there is enough tempo in the beginning & Scarlett doesn’t look convinced at what has been produced!

Hearing happy for the first time makes Lewis not look very happy! Pamela points out that the only thing that could happen is that it is not happy enough!

Now to decide who is going to pitch – Dean feels that he had a great connection until Lottie decides hers was greater having worked in an orchestra? Scarlett points out as Dean was PM, he should have the overall say – Dean chooses himself and swaps Lottie with Scarlett leaving Lottie and Carina to go into the corporate client and sell the song.

The drinks brand seem as upbeat as the music and for them its an ok track lyrics but quite monotonous,  Carina points out its quite catchy yet repetitive but that’s what makes it memorable,  They decide it’s not something to be used on TV, but could use it on social media and shake on 17k.

Carina feels that the minute they had heard the track they were underwhelmed, for once Lottie said nothing.

In Lewis and Pamela’s pitch it appeared that Lewis was trying to drown out the track by talking over it trying to bring some sort of association to the song by giving running commentary about how someone was feeling when watching a football game – it didn’t bring the game to life just irritated those on the other side of the table.

Pamela’s endorsement of the track to get the sale in the bag was to shar that it wasn’t the chirpiest song, no shit sherlock there is nothing happy about any of it!

Lewis decides that they have matched the brief – someone get the man a cold flannel and a reality check and steams in with we can do 85k as though they are doing the client a massive favour.  Sensing the disapproval at the end of a TV screen was immediate and yet Lewis with the skin of a rhino didn’t appear to comprehend how mush he had overstepped the mark and pissed these people off especially the guy who tightly-lipped advised there was too many elements that didn’t hit the brief so it’s was a no.

Cue Karen who confirmed that Lewis had got the clients back up.

It was now time to try and get as many sales from potential buyers from the world of gaming tv and film – each team had an hour to do so in different parts of London.  Unison strike a 30% commission on every deal and Npower and Thomas secures sales with a 35% commission.  Pamela keeps pointing out to people the negatives rather than concentrating on the positives – although challenging when the song is more depressing than happy and yet happy is the main lyric – It’s not your traditional sing song happy song!

Lewis feels like it is like flogging a dead horse and has never struggled so much.

On unison as they have to go, go over and over a toilet roll brand are interested in the music for a TV advert and Lottie starts bitching publicly when Carina having heard enough of her negotiation undercuts her by 25 quid - Absolutely ridiculous absolutely ridiculous she trills – no, the only thing that is absolutely ridiculous Lottie is you – why don’t you get your viola out and play a concerto or something in preference to that horrible voice the nation has to endure every Wednesday!

Thomas the salesman takes over the sale Marianne is trying to create not messing about which upsets her (another one who could do with losing the power of speech!) It was open to close and you didnt close it – bosh Marianne that’s the way us brits roll see the opportunity and go for it!

With the trading over Lewis feels that they have done justice for Royal and got some good deals and if they lose the fault has to lie with Marianne and Thomas re song choice.

Scarlett has some concerns feeling that as a team they haven’t delivered huge amount from corporate client and just got some sales from the floor – Tomorrow is time to face the music!